Joining the Military

[Ray]

Dear Brothers and Sisters,
A close friend of mine is Korean (from Korea) and has to go do his military service for two years. He's real nervous and scared and I want to comfort him. Does anyone have any advice I can pass on to him?

Thanks for your kind attention.

Best,

Ray

[joko]

Hi Ray,

I remember a maxim:

How can you be happy if you are not doing what you are supposed to do? By doing what you are not supposed to do, you only bring misery to yourself and to others.

Ask your friend how he feels being born and raised as Korean. Ask him whether he is happy, grateful, and proud to be a Korean. Then, as a Korean, he is supposed to do the military service, to serve his country, as any other Korean his age is supposed to do. Happiness comes from doing what one is supposed to do.

Regards,
Joko

[joko]

By denying the military service, he would be doing what he is not supposed to do. Which brings misery not only to him (shown already by his scare and nervousness); the misery begins to affect his close friend (you).

[Ronan]

I agree with Joko, except I think instead of saying

Happiness comes from doing what one is supposed to do.

It would be better to tell your friend

We gain joy from fulfilling our responsibilities

I think it sounds nicer

Sifu says a Shaolin disciple should see to his duties and responsibilities with zest and loyalty. So it depends on where your friend's loyalty lies.

Although I'm grateful to the country I grew up in, my loyalty lies with God and humanity. I wouldn't be sent away to fight an unjust war by my government if it went against my morals, although I would fight for my country if I thought it was for a righteous cause.

There's a quote from the movie "Gladiator" which I really like.The General's right hand man says

Sometimes I do what I want to do, the rest of the time I do what I have to

[Ray]

Dear Brothers,
Thanks for your comments. You're right. I'll remind him of the pride and dignity he feels because he's Korean. It's a lot better than worrying for some reason that joining the military will somehow turn him into an evil person ^^
It's interesting that in order to truly convince him sometimes you need to find the same feeling inside yourself. So in helping others we help ourselves too.

Best,

Ray

[yeniseri]

freedom and reality

divineshadow,

Joining the military for a young man is and should be a wake up call for what we all say we hold dear in life. That is the policy of S. Korea for preserving peace. I was stationed there for a short time period and freedom is never cheap. Joining the military is positive because you are are serving your country and when one leaves, the best opportunity is to take advantages afforded based on one's service.
Tell you friend to keep his head high!

[Zhang Wuji]

My guess, as someone who has gone through military service himself, is that your friend is really scared. It is not a case of thinking the military will make him evil but more fear of the hellhole that the Korean army will be, or worse, the very real prospect of a war with the North.

I am sympathetic, especially if your friend is a middle-class urban Korean who is suddenly thrown into barracks of people he may never have come across or never want to come across in his life.

I won't sugar-coat it - life in the military is incredibly tough for most city kids. I saw with my own eyes new recruits, sheltered for most of their lives, attempting suicide or deliberately maiming themselves to get discharged. I saw three deaths in the course of my service resulting from training alone, and had a close brush with death myself.

My advice is - it will seem unbearable at first, but if he survives it (literally and figuratively), it will be an experience he can later be proud of. Many things seem trivial to me after my military service, and I had gained a more balanced perspective on life after seeing death and going through what I felt was utter misery and suffering. Those were dark days, but I am glad I made it.

It WILL be a hard life, but there is no point in escaping from it, unless he revokes his Korean citizenship. That is viable too, and really, nothing to be ashamed about. It is just a sacrifice he must make, if he does not wish to make the sacrifice of two years of his life (or risk his life).

While I do not wholly disagree with yenseri, I must say that joining the army is not some romanticised ideal. It may seem cool to some to be playing with guns or doing secret "black-ops" but i assure you that the real army is not Hollywood action. It is at turns too boring for words, at turns mentally and physically exhausting. And that is just peacetime training. A real war must be too terrible to describe, and veterans I have met seem to carry scars within themselves. But they survived and got on with life.

[Ray]

Dear Zhang Wuji,
I particularly looked forward to hearing your insights about this. Well, you're right on pretty much all accounts. The most I can do now for my buddy is pray for him. A part of me is just strangely concerned that after joining the military he'll change in some bad way and that we won't be friends anymore.

Best,

Ray