Negotiating with a drunk person.

[Peter Clayton]

Dear Wahnam Family,

I recently started work as a receptionist at a hostel in the center of Killarney, Ireland. I work primarily evenings (3pm - 11:30pm) as the rest of the staff are female and they wanted a male to be there at this time (NOTE: None of the ladies are trained in the Shaolin Arts otherwise this wouldn't be a problem. )

The hostel is situated across from a bar and we also take some guests who want to celebrate the weekend. These guests are allowed to drink on the ground floor of the hostel if they wish.

I am happy to share that having a positive outlook to the day and bringing my practice into my work life have ensured that 99.9 % of the time there is little incident.

However, always looking to improve I would ask if anyone has any experiences in dealing with drunk or unresponsive people using their TCC / Shaolin Kungfu / Chi Kung. Primarily, I am interested in ways of reasoning with such people.

Common situations that may occur would be:

* Moving guests who have repeatedly been too loud after 10pm away from the hostel into town.
* Reasoning with guests drinking and smoking in the rooms (this is not allowed).
* Informing drunken enquirers that we have no beds and moving them on quickly.

The hostel caters to a broad spectrum of guests and we have families and children staying also so I simply wish to do a good job so that they enjoy their stay without feeling any intimidation or lack of sleep.

Best wishes to all,

Pete.

[Chiahua]

Sounds like the first step is to cultivate a good relationship with the bar who's serving these folks. Usually bar owners here in the states are very receptive to working with the neighborhood, esp because they can get their liquor license revoked pretty easily if there are numerous noise complaints. Don't know if that's the case in Ireland....

[Peter Clayton]

Thank you for the reply Sipak,

The guests usually bring their own alchohol to consume on the premises before heading out to various bars and clubs. (Drinking on the ground floor of the hostel is permitted).

My shift ends at 11.30pm then security takes over and I leave it to them to worry about any guests who are returning at 3am If I can keep things running smoothly until then (which 99.9% they do), then that is a good days work

Last night I had about 70 French school children with very little english screaming and shouting at 11pm. I am having great fun creating various sign techniques for 'Quiet!' - I think there is a lot I am going to learn in this job


Pete.

[mallert]

Negotiating is a difficult task to accomplish...

Dear Peter,

I can only tell from my experiences as I worked as a student in a punk/alternative bar.

Negotiations were rather quick - when a person gets to loud or offensive, we took him by the hand (or anything else you can grab and showed him, where the door was.

Honestly, nowadays I would inform the guest about the situation, e.g. with the families and children and if he/she does not apply to the rules after three times told, I would ask her/him to leave and that you have to call the police otherwise; if he/she still doesn't agree and if nothing happens, I would call the police. But of course you have to treat him as a child - there is a saying in Germany, where drunken persons and children always say the truth. So treat him as a child.

The other thing of course is when you have a guest reacting violently to your friendly spoken offer to help him walk out of the door and to recommend him another famous bar you know nearby to go there. Then it is a self defense situation (I had many of these in the punk bar) and then you have to throw him out, maybe using some Chin Na (ask you local Sifu about , but do not hurt him, otherwise it will create a legal issue with the police.

The biggest difficulty is to stay calm and friendly and to not react equally to the verbal injuries or threats. That's what I call "to make a cat out of the inner tiger". Always smile (from the heart). Drunken people then always will underestimate you as a weakling. That helped a lot in my situation (some 20 years ago).

Be like water.

Yours,

Martin

[Peter Clayton]

Thank you for sharing your experience Martin,

I am finding that one of the great things about working through something on the forum is how one can crystalise the essence of what they are looking for as the thread progresses.

At this point, I think I am trying to understand the effects of being calm, at my dan tien and smiling from the heart and it's effect with someone who is intoxicated and less open to reason?

On a side note, I have yet to witness any physical altercation and am extremely doubtful that I will, however, looking closer at my Chin Na techniques and skill with them would be a good idea.

Happy training

Pete.

[Steve Clarke]

Hi Peter,

Speaking clearly and calmy and staying at your dan-tian is great advice. Also point out to them that their behaviour is disturbing the other guests such as childern and families. If you can get them to concider how their actions are effecting the other people around them, you might find their behaviour quickly changes.
This often works.
In the 5 Elemental Processes this is using metal to cut wood.

[Andy]

In the 5 Elemental Processes this is using metal to cut wood.

Hi Sihing,

Thanks for the excellent advice. Thanks also for the insight into the 5 Elemental Processes aspect of the advice

WSS,

Andy