Why is respect so important in internal Arts?

[Hubert]

As I'm sure you have noticed, there have recently been a few instances where the subject of showing respect to the School, the Art, and the Master have been put forward. It is clearly something that is very important in Shaolin Wahnam.

Why is it so?
Out of pride? To belittle others or other schools?

Obviously not. Sifu Wong puts so much emphasis on respect because it benefits the student.

Learning an internal Art is not easy. It is a path of changes where doubts can easily creep in, and it requires constant guidance. It also requires constant trust and respect toward your teacher. Not to please him or her, or because it is the tradition, but because without it you will not only fail to achieve anything, but you might even get adverse effects.

From my experience, people who didn't have genuine respect for Sifu Wong did not achieve much. It can range from blatantly challenging his instructions during a course to more subtle things, such as doubting if he understands what we need, or if we can really achieve anything by following his method.

Actually, I think respect is even subtler than that. I have to admit, there has been a time where I did begin to doubt if Sifu was giving me the necessary tools for what I needed at that time. However, I am lucky enough that I have always naturally had the deepest respect for Sifu. It never really occured to me to stop practicing or not to follow his instructions (I leave it to you to decide if it was wise or naive ). Because of that I could easily let go of the doubts. Without bragging, in 2 years, I have achieved good results. Actually, incredible results when compared to what I see around me. The foremost reason for this is genuine respect.

Shaolin Wahnam being Sifu Wong's school, it is only logical that the notion of respect is so important in our system. This being the Shaolin Wahnam Forum, and thus a learning tool for Shaolin Wahnam students, if someone (whether it is a student or a guest) displays a lack of what we believe represents necessary respect for good and safe progress, it will be pointed out. And certainly not because he is a practitioner of a different system or has different opinions.

[Jordan]

Good post Hubert

I wouldn't be where I am today if I did not have respect. My progression is very much related to the respect and gratitude I have to Sifu, and I sincerely mean that.

[Mark Blohm]

My progression is very much related to the respect and gratitude I have to Sifu, and I sincerely mean that.

I now take this to heart, and vow to practice it for my benefit and for the benefit of others.

Mark

[LeeWeiJoo]

Dear Hubert,

Thanks for the excellent post on respect

I will endeavour to understand and show respect for our Shaolin arts at all times.

With Shaolin Salute,
Lee Wei Joo

[Adam Kryder]

Acknowledging the Process

Hubert and others,

Thank you for starting this thread, I will approach this from a different angle. I feel it is an angle that must be covered in all aspects of spreading the arts.
The sharing of these thoughts and experiences brings me much liberation of heart.


Part I. Background

Much of this comes from my past and present experience of teaching in China, and present awareness of my practice of the shaolin arts.

During my stay here, one of the most challenging things about my job is the students. Contrary to my original assumptions of how a university student would conduct themselves I found that the majority of my 200+ students are disrespectful, obstinate, arrogant, lazy, presumptuous, etc...

In contrast, much of my teaching method (eventhough I teach English as a second language) comes from my experience of studying The Shaolin Arts, Music (Double-Bass), and Fine Arts.

When I began teaching, I asked my Grandfather (an 80+ long time professor at The Virginia Theological Seminary) for some advice. And I followed, but soon I learned that something was missing. That something is what he told me below.

"The students come to you to learn and you go to the students to teach (and learn) you must make full use of this unity"

Soon, I discovered that the part that was missing was that my students, did not want to learn. They had no desire to study english , or anything, apathy running rampant.

I knew that this attitude if conveyed by myself in the private study of the Arts mentioned above would result in myself losing a teacher and most likely the art. My teaching in China is not such the case.

I will draw on a poem of A.R. Ammons
------------------------
Resolve

We must work
in the spirit
of unity
and cooperation.

I'll supply the unity
and you supply the
cooperation
---------------------------

What do we do WHen the Cooperation or Respect is absent?

After my fair share of Class Mutinies, Students openly cursing me out and other wonderful chances to lose self-importance (self-effacing) I can make a few comments that might better help all of us conduct and respond better to these issues in our forum and daily lives.

Part II. Awareness of an Unhealthy heart

I remember about a year ago when I first started discovering and practicing the Shaolin Arts. I was in the home of Sifu (not sigung) discussing my and my brothers learning of the shaolin arts. How I outwardly expressed myself was well inline with most modes of formality and respect. But inside, I was doubtful, suspiscious, and untrusting of him. Yet, there was something undefineable that drew me to the art and to further pursuit of that knowledge and experience. I will call this, "the moment of the splitting."

As my first sessions started, I listened carefully to his instructions and while I was in sessions I still experienced this splitting. I can still remember lifting the sky and one half saying "This guy is bulls**t, internal force is bulls**t, what are you doing here? All this money for nothing, who do you think you are?" (Obviously disrespectful, not only to Sifu but also to myself)

And at the same time there was another half saying "........................." Thats it. The other half was silent, in enjoyment, often experiencing the wonders and joys of living. Of Being alive! (This is the part that drew me to the Arts, and gave me the power, strength and courage to continue in my challenges.)

By the end of the session, The SIlent half would take over and I would leave humbled and thankfull, fully respectfull, internally and externally toward Sifu.

But in the Week in between, upon my return Home and even on the 2 hour drive up to see him the next week, it was a battle, my split nature runinng rampant. But the draw was too powerful, The silence too profound, that I would take all the BS talk for just a moment of silence and seeing the effects of using it in my day to day world. I knew from the first time I practiced, that to me, stopping my practice would be choosing the road to my own death.


This splitting got mildly better but was still unstable, up to and during my participation in the February Intensive Course in Malaysia. Symtoms including, inwardly cursing out Sifu, my sihing's, and sigung. Cursing out meaning thoughts such as "They dont know what it feels like to be me", " Thats a load if I've ever heard", "What BS" so on and so forth. Note: These were intermittent and short outbursts that would be silenced within minutes, or hours. Never outwardly expressed in words. but in brutal honesty, inwardly felt

When I returned to my home in China (after the intensive course), they actually got worse, Until one day (a day and moment I still remember clearly), I was in the shower after practice and it hit me: "I AM NOT HEALTHY"--> Never in my life had I been so aware of my "Black Magic". Awareness being the Key.

At that point a crucial point had been turned in my practice. I was to take full responsibility in daily life and practice to healing myself and emptying my heart of these feelings.
-----------------------------------------------

Part III.- The healing and Maintenence of Practice

The healing began with the tools given by the art. My chi flows got scary, (Im lucky I live in CHina, If I was in America the cops would have been called. ) My Chi flows led me to "Emptying my heart" and at such a rapid rate that I felt like all of my splitting was being Sucked out of me, leaving only the silence. It is what I might call "Energetic Crying" and it sounded like it.

THe Finishing blow, came from this forum, A post that J-Say wrote about smiling from the heart and relaxing in his own ways of tackling his problems in practice. And also from Sifu, "Relax, smile and flow through all your challenges". It must have been timing, because they were principles I had heard before yet never taken the full responsibility of implementing them into my daily life and practice.

Since then, in 3 months, I can honestly say, that my self healing has been incredible. All the cursing of my peers is completely absent. And other thoughts from the BS side I described from PART II if they should arise, they are disposed of quickly and effectively. I feel and practice 100% more effectively and joyfully.

And this stems from acknowledging and taking responsibility of the humanity in and outside of myself.
------------------------

Part IV- Conclusions- Acknowledging The Process of Humanity

In my testimonial, one may find many conclusions. I will concentrate my focus on a few.

1. Knowing what I have been through I can completely understand how forum members might have a lack of respect in writing. And I will go as far to say that: When Writing thoughts toward someone or something it is alot easier to lose control. It is easier to forget that there is a person a being and feelings behind the words written, no matter how exact, direct, muddled or inaccurate the words are.

Case in point, in oral face to face conversation, there is a person, and their actual being staring you in the face. The feeling is different, and must be taken as so.

A huge transformation of a warrior comes when the warrior acknowleges and takes the responsibility of his words being action.

2. Continuing this train of thought, I will expound a principle I have learned about actively dealing with humanity.

" I Do not expect that just because I devote my time and energy toward practicing, living, and acting a certain way, that others will uphold the same qualities I endeavor and painstakingly work toward bringing into action"

I call this the Responsibility of Awareness.

The classroom situation in Part 1 is a great example of this.

3. I must acknowledge that to various degrees all of humanity will go through this "ugly" part of the process. And that I above all must respect that process in other peoples actions and words, and call it my Responsibility and purpose to be guardian of such an awareness.

In this vein, phrases such as "You just seem to bring that out in people", "thats my tiger nature", Name calling, dwelling on past events or words said, baiting or taunting, expression of overpride in your art practiced, etc... Not only is a deterrent to the healing of others and ourselves but is equally irresponsible and disrespectful (toward ouselves and others).

When we acknowledge and take responsiblitiy for the process of healing in Humanity, Apology is unneeded. Folly is our nature, and I call that freedom.

4. Using these principles above, I have transformed classrooms of obstinacy and apathy into classrooms of laughter and joy. I have transformed dire situations into liberating challenges. I have and continue to transform other peoples, and my own ignorance and disrespect into blooming awareness and in all situations, challenge myself to foster Healing Through the acknowlegement of Humanity in and outside of myself.

For this reason, no matter how my students or citizens of the world treat me, I MUST give them my best (and even seek to break the limits of my best), each and every day.

For those that have stayed with me this long, I thank you for your patience and understanding. It is with great humbleness that I am priviledged by the opportunity to share my experiences and Ideas.


Best WIshes

Adam Kryder


PS-->For extra Study: I highly recommend watching, "Red Beard" Directed by Akira Kurosawa It is a must see.

[Charles David]

Dear Adam,

Thank you for your heartfelt and illuminating post and congratulations on your successes.

Thanks for the tip on "Red Beard". I will watch it tomorrow.


Truly,

[Matt]

A very fine post

To all readers of this post - please take the time to read what Adam has written

To Adam,

I read your post, and must say it is one of the finest i have read on this site.

Your description of your experience of "splitting" and of overcoming that really impressed me with the courage of your honesty. Having had to overcome my own dark side - i understand what a challenge it can be.

It's only when we expose and confront the things within us that we are most ashamed of and that are holding up our development, that we can truly step out of the darkness and into the light.

Many of us have had to face up to weaknesses, demons, "black magic" - call it what you will. It's often a painful process, it requires an honesty that is courageous. It means letting go of old bad ways, to be re-born with new good ways.

The post is about respect. Our Sifus and past masters are showing us the good ways, giving us the strength to overcome the bad. Respect is born of trust - trust in the wisdon of our Sifus, and trust in our own wisdom to know who to trust. When we know the unity of the cosmos, we realise that trust in our self and our sifus is one and the same. Listen to the silent voice.


Respect to all.

Matt.

[Ronan]

Good post Adam and a good thread too Hubert

It's crazy when I think how much doubt has delayed my progress. I was in doubt for my first couple of years, but never putting in enough practice to find out wether my doubts were unfounded or not. Even though I was getting brilliant results (my depression was all but cured and I was much happier) there was stil doubt there about some of the deeper levels of our training. It was only there 50% of the time but but it was a huge hinderance to my progress. It was a vicous cycle, the doubts stopped me practicing but the only way to rid myself of the doubt was to practice.

It's true that everything happens at the right time, but I can't help but think that I would've progressed much faster had I just done what my Sifu had said from the very start. Never the les I'm happy and always learning.

The key as Hubert said, was the respect I have for Sifu and my brothers (and sisters) I respect them enough to just shut up and give it a proper shot instead of always pusyfooting around with training, speculating and having little doubts here and there. I thought "right, enough messing about. I'm gonna put in six months of daily, dilligent practice and see if I get the required results." actually it only took me one month of proper practice to satisfy my questions.

Through dilligent practice all my doubts have been silenced (almost all, I still don't believe that Chuck Norris' roundhouse can travel back in time...but maybe one will come back from the future and prove me wrong., stranger things have happnened )

There's so much more can be said on this subject but it's my brother's birthday so I gotta go

Best wishes

Ronan

[barrys]

Hubert, Thanks for starting the thread (by the way how are things )

Adam, Thanks for your 'from the heart' post. It did my heart good to read it. I identified with it on many levels - my own intermittent doubts about practice and my ability to get anything from it, how things change when doubt is dropped in practice (as Sifu Marcus says - Don't worry you can pick it up again afterwards if you like ), the startling moments when experiencing a blockage with awareness, my experiences as a therapist and teacher.

I like the point that you make about being able to act respectfully, which is practically important in any society, but that for oneself the crucial thing is how it works inside. If I was practising something I actively distrust how would that respect Sifu or myself.

Like you I have periods of doubt about whether it will work for me, whether Sifu knows what he is talking about and wondering what I am doing. Like you, underneath all of that a quiet decision runs (to continue to practice) and direct experience of the truth of much of what Sifu has told me.

What also helps is looking at my aims and objectives and tracking progress and the value of Sifu's teaching against them. Without them it would have been much easier to stay lost or confused. I don't want to give the impression I do this stuff well or consistently but in the not doing there is something to compare against the doing, so nothing is wasted. Dualistic probably but that is the stage I am at.

In another group I belong to the following quotation is used to remind us of the utility of respect, honesty, open-mindedness and willingness.

"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—that principle is contempt prior to investigation." —HERBERT SPENCER

Best wishes,

Barry

[Maxime]

Dear Adam,

my dear brother, I am extremely happy that you realized the presence of your internal tigers. I wish you the best success in taming those tigers.

May I add, my dear brother, that you should not feel guilty about your thoughts. Through the process of living, are created energetic blockages, emerging from the deepest parts of our being to the surface, like waves, through negative thoughts, depression, anger, losing of faith, and so forth.

Those are a blessing in disguise, because they will help us to realize their roots, the blockage of our smooth flow of Life Force. Realizing this, will be the start of the wonderful journey to the freedom.

We all start the process of cleansing ourselves, our body, mind and soul. Putting all your Heart in it, you have just started the most beautiful, important, and rewarding war, the inner battle.

You are not alone. As I write these lines, a happy tear of Joy is almost starting to run down my face.

Please let your brother hug you in his arms,

Shaolin Love

Maxime

[grammatoncleric]

Dear Adam thank you for that post, it was wonderful.

The split nature is something that occurs whenever I practice with Wahnam, but also in regards to the divine, even in my moments of doubt I know I cannot deny the truth, not matter the 'comfort' it gives me.

I realize now that there is a part of me that doesn't want to let go of suffering, that wants to embrace it and spread it.

Many Blessings,

Marcus

[Molly]

Hey Hubert,
Hope you're settling in okay at home after galavanting around the world. This is a great thread you've started here. Adam and Ronan, great, inspirational responses here that will hopefully help to soothe the doubts that anyone may be having.
I definitely agree with both of you that my own doubts have proved to be the biggest obstacle in my training thus far. Beyond the stances, footwork, combat sequences, and set practice the most important part of my training these days has been to silence the little voice in my head that says "I don't know if I can do this" or "But I'm used to this technique feeling different" or the best "How can I just let go and not over-concentrate?".
I'm very analytical in my approach to everything. I'm used to asking tons of questions as I go along and focusing very hard to attain my results. I've had to learn repeatedly in my kungfu training that once the mechanics of a technique are learned, the rest is just letting go and practicing it over and over again. If I would have ignored Sifu's instructions to let go and enjoy my training, I know I'd still be at square one banging my head against the wall, or worse yet, given up completely. Don't get me wrong I've yet to slay these demons completely (when I do, I'm throwing the biggest party Wahnam has ever seen! ), but I attribute my achievements so far to respecting the fact that Sifu and past masters before him followed this method because it WORKS and he knows it will work for us too.
Sifu is always saying to train consistently, then after a few months or whatever timeframe you've set for yourself, assess your improvement or lack thereof. I did this quite by accident one day, looking back at my kungfu training 5 years ago. I couldn't spar, couldn't stand in horse stance for a minute, heck I couldn't even stand upright! I can do all these things and more now. If I'd just shut up and followed instructions I'm sure I could do even more now. But that's okay, I'm learning to train smarter and simpler, because that's how I've been taught, and the more faith and respect I devote to Sifu and the method, the more I will gain.
I could've never gotten to where I am without that respect. I will go no further without it. I've gained so so much from it. Not just fabulous kungfu parlor tricks like felling techniques, touching my head to my toes, and spitting 20 feet (that's really neat ). But when I stepped back and looked at where and who I was a year ago, I was shocked to see the change for the better. I'm a calmer, more centered person now. The volatile, violent temper I've had for so long is gone. I'd tried for years in vain not to be that angry person, always failing. I never made a vow to myself to be better. But I did start training consistenly. Then one day I looked back and all those bad things were gone, all without realizing it. I know if I keep going those voices in my head will quiet down too (but I too just don't know about Chuck's roundhouse kick ). I will continue to respect the teachings of Sifu and past masters because I owe my life to them. On that note, I've the whole day off, the sun is shining outside, and it's time to go train some more. All my best to everyone!
Respectfully(pun intended ),
Molly

[James Mousley]

Warm greetings to you all

Lovely thread. Thanks Hubert. it was great to finally meet you the other week.

Likewise to Molly i would like to thank Si heng Adam and Si sook Ronan for their beautiful posts. And Maxime your heartfelt gratitude and love really shone through in your reply

My Sifu asked me about respect after last nights class. And I have been thinking on its role since then.
For me respect is part of a triangle of three words. Trust, Faith and respect. they all have different meanings but the essence for me is very close. they all come straight from the heart and allow my practice to be my practice.

If I notice I my practice i am losing my dantien, floating and generally dancing about. i also find that I have lost respect and I have started to not train with respect.
Respect is so wonderful as it allows you to relax and settle to your dantien. It allows your art to stop being a dance and to start being real. In turn this reflects respect to your linage and all past and current masters as then the practice is genuine.

If i train with respect then i start to train kung fu. Respect, like everything that is manifesting to me, starts with me. so it is simple, if I respect myself establish my being in respect and then all that grows from my impulses into actions both physical and otherwise has a wholesome natural foundation to build from.

If a class of Kung Fu students is full of respect I have found that this greatly improves my practice. The energies of the class work together rather than against. The atmosphere of respect stops my ego shouting and too starts to let me train. If I start to loose respect and start to loose myself, the respect of Sifu and my brother and sisters brings respect back to me.

With this attitude I can just train and know that as long as I am doing such a simple natural thing (respecting all) then I have nothing to worry about. Things will always improve not only for me but for everything around me in the whole universe.
I know this sounds rather grand but hey why not, it is!

my love to you all

hope everyone has a great day

[Piers]

James, something clicked in me as I read your post. Yesterday I knew the importance of respect, I knew I respected Sifu deeply, and our arts, but I was for some reason blocked in really feeling the significance of respect (probably slightly hung up on the debate about whether Kaitain had been respectful or not).

Then as I read your post just now I had an image of handling a delicate object with respect – treating it as precious. I realised how that attitude truly allows you to start seeing and appreciating something. And realised that when I approach my practice with that attitude – the attitude that I’m handling something precious, that this can be a work of art, as Sifu says – then it becomes so much more than it would otherwise be. It helps the chi flow, apart from anything.

Paying respect is linked to paying attention.

I also remembered, as an aside, how important respect is in a relationship. I remember reading that the most corrosive problem in a married couple is not even being, say, critical or defensive – but contempt. And I think contempt is probably the exact opposite of respect.

Respect is essential – it asserts the value of someone or something in an unconditional way. It’s a sort of vital precondition. It allows us to see something as precious, rather than taking it for granted.

Thanks everyone...

piers

[Hubert]

Wonderful posts from everyone!

Isn't it great how we can learn something out of any situation? (in this case a bit of healthy "heat" on the forum - I love it )