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**Dave** · 30 May 2011, 12:27 PM

Around this time I met my partner Laura. After a few months, she got a job offer to work in Barcelona, a city that she had always wanted to live in, and asked if I would like to go too. As things were definitely getting serious, I didn't hesitate to say yes, and shortly thereafter, we were packing our bags. As well as setting out on a new adventure in a new country with the woman I loved, I saw the move as a great chance to break the cycle of smoking weed everyday. Obviously I wouldn't know anyone there, ergo I wouldn't be able to buy weed there, and if I didn't really try to find it, I wouldn't have to really try to abstain, I simply wouldn't be able to smoke. No will-power necessary!

Things were going well in Barcelona, my daily Chikung practice really helping a lot and I was enjoying being weed-free. We started to make friends with a few people and it wasn't long before a friend from Holland came to visit and, having friends in Barcelona himself, knew where to get some weed. We all met up for a night out and I bought some weed from my friend's friend. The cycle started again. Although I began to smoke again, I now had Chikung on my side, and was feeling much more in control of my 'habit' than before. But such things rarely last, and it wasn't long before I would skip practice some days, or even try practicing when I was (slightly) high. I felt I was doing a disservice to myself, but still held out for the chance to meet Grandmaster Wong, or one of his instructors, who I felt would really be able to help me break the habit with their more powerful and proved methods. After about two years of living in Barcelona, I struck on this forum, actually prompted by an insulting comment posted on the Russbo.com forum. An individual had asked there what were his options to learn real Kungfu these days and the response was something along the lines of, 'well, you can go to x instructor in x city, try the x school, in x location, or if you want to fly around the cosmos out of your body try the Wahnam school'.
I never did thank that guy for his intentionally sarcastic comment.

So I went back to Grandmaster Wong's website and started reading the various threads in the forum. I came across a thread by another individual asking about the website I had previously seen, advertising the Shaolin academy in China. He asked about how genuine it was and the response was that it wasn't really necessary to travel to China to learn real Shaolin Kungfu, and even if he did go there, it might not necessarily be genuine. But his master certainly did teach genuine Kungfu and regularly travelled the world teaching it.

At the time, my Spanish wasn't so good, at least not good enough to learn chikung and fully appreciate all of the instruction, so I thought. So I posted on the forum to ask whether it was acceptable not to understand completely everything, or if it was possible to go with my girlfriend, who could translate for me, or if in the process she may miss too much of the instruction to benefit herself. Big Thanks to Sifu Jeffrey for suggesting Sifu Daniel, who lived in Barcelona and spoke english, and for introducing me to my Sifu!

We arranged to meet Sifu Daniel for a class, and I admit to thinking that maybe he would possess some sort of magical perception and be able to tell that I was a weed smoker and possibly refuse to teach me. The class went well, and we agreed to start attending on a regular basis. I had read via the forum of others who had attended one or two classes after being regular weed smokers and stopped immediately after experiencing the wonders of Shaolin Cosmos Chikung. I have to admit here that although I had wanted to stop smoking and dedicate myself to these arts, deep down I didn't really want to give up this part of my life. I wanted to soar the heights of Chikung and Kungfu, but still get high at the same time. I did have periods, however of stopping smoking and very quickly seeing the benefits in my life and practice, but always returned to my bad habit eventually, telling myself that maybe I could be a casual smoker, or only on weekends, or special occasions, etc, ad nauseum.

After about 5 months of practicing Chikung, something very exciting was to happen: Sifu Wong was coming to teach in Girona, about an hour or so's drive from Barcelona! I had recently decided that I wanted to learn Taichi, which I considered much more internal than Kungfu, and Sifu Wong was going to teach a regional Taichi course! My Sifu was already attending the course, and I arranged to attend also. I remember driving to the hotel where the course was being held on the first morning, and although I had complete faith in Sifu Wong's ability and reputation, I began to wonder 'with such a profound art as Taichi is purported to be, how much can one actually learn in three days?' Suffice to say that within the first half hour alone I felt as if it had been worth the course fee!
The next three days were to be one of the most challenging yet rewarding experiences of my life.

**Dave** · 30 May 2011, 12:28 PM

I continued to attend Chikung classes with my Sifu, and practice Taichi on my own, with help and advice from him. Then I got a job back in Holland. As a contractor, I was to go there for a few months to work before going to England for another job. I thought it would be possible to train my Chikung and Taichi, and only maybe smoke afterwards (!), obviously I still wasn't ready to let go completely of a habit I had now had for over ten years. Predictably, I started to skip some days' training, because I 'needed' a joint to 'take the edge off' after work, then I wouldn't train afterwards because I was too high. Most days, however, I would practice straight after work, and then only smoke later, as I started to notice the positive effects the arts were having on me.

Although I noticed good progress in general, i.e, more energy at work, calmer disposition, improved flexibilty, etc, I felt guilty and somewhat ashamed that I was not taking full advantage of a golden opportunity that I had been given, thanks to learning from a great Sifu and a genuine Grandmaster. This was to become a recurring theme on and off for the next few years as I would have periods of stopping smoking weed, having even better results from my training, then slipping back into old habits.

After finishing work in Holland and England and returning to Spain, I decided to try a Kungfu class with my Sifu, as he wasn't yet teaching formal Taichi classes. As the stances and footwork I had learned with Sifu Wong were the same as in Kungfu I thought it better to continue with Kungfu for the time being, rather than potentially start to lose some of the skills we had learned in waiting to attend regular Taichi classes. For me it was an instant hit, and after one or two classes, Laura began Kungfu too which she also fell in love with.
After 3 months' training, Sifu Wong came to Barcelona to teach Chikung and Kungfu, and so I attended both sets of courses. It was another experience that I will never forget and my first true experience of the infamous 'brain-fry'.
Whereas in the Taichi course we had focused the combat side of things on Pushing Hands and Striking Hands, in the Kungfu course we learnt the first eight combat sequences of the Kungfu syllabus, at which point previously I had only learnt the first four. I was truly pushed to the limit in many ways.

Following this, I returned to England to work for a couple of months, and although I was training every day with renewed focus and actually found a great training partner in Chris Holmes (many thanks Chris), after a few weeks the colleague I was staying with bought some weed, of which I would smoke maybe one joint the odd night before going to bed. This was a huge change for me, because instead of risking my training by getting high beforehand, the training took complete precedent over all else, in a way. True, I was still smoking a little, but I would also make the effort to get up around 5am every day to train for an hour to an hour and a half every morning before going to work, and then training most days after work, and sparring with Chris once or twice a week. My Kungfu improved immensely, and upon returning to Spain my classmates were very surprised to notice such a change, asking me which instructor I'd been privately training with (thanks again, Chris)!

**Dave** · 30 May 2011, 12:29 PM

Fast forward to 2008. The pattern of smoking, stopping smoking, starting again, continued over the years and in 2008 Laura and I attended the wedding of Sifu Chun Nga and our first Intensive Kungfu course. Needless to say it was all an incredible experience, not least of which was meeting a lot of our international family that previously we had only known through this forum, and forging some lasting bonds. Upon returning from Malaysia, we found out to our (part) surprise that Laura was pregnant! We both continued our Chikung and Kungfu training until Laura had to stop after around three months because of the pregnancy. I stopped smoking weed (again) when our son Daniel was born on August the 21st, but unfortunately I also stopped practicing daily. I had always thought before that someone who said that they couldn't find fifteen minutes a day to practice an incredible art was either a liar or just had no willpower. Then I was to experience one of the toughest periods of my life.

I stopped practicing Chikung and Kungfu regularly when after numerous sleepless nights, combined with the stress of being a first time parent, and the exhaustion of never having a moment to oneself, it all started to take it's toll.
Nothing can describe the sheer joy of being a parent, but that's not to say it's easy first time around. Rather than follow the advice which says, 'rest or nap when your baby naps, you need rest too', I found myself feeling guilty for leaving Laura to go and practice when she was just as exhausted as I was, or if there was a good moment, not being able to even think about entering a Chikung state of mind, let alone do a proper practice session. This continued for a couple of weeks, and again I started to smoke a little weed, to try and relax a bit. Things got easier with the baby, as they inevitably do, but I continued smoking and not practicing. Sure I'd practice every now and again, even for a few days or a week in a row, but I never managed to get back to regular practice on a daily basis.

When Daniel was about a month old, we moved to Galicia, in the North West of Spain, from Barcelona. We had bought a nice house with a big garden, and I had been trying not to beat myself up too much about smoking and not practicing, thinking that when we moved it would be much easier, with a big garden to practice in it would be harder to find excuses not to practice and the smoking thing would take care of itself. Well, yes and no. Just because we had a house and garden, it didn't mean we had more time on our hands or less work to do as parents, although things had become easier-Daniel was sleeping more which meant that we were sleeping more, it was easier to tell why he was crying now, etc, but I was still smoking. This continued, on and off, and I would have periods of practicing and not smoking, sometimes for a few weeks, but it always came back to the same thing-feeling guilty and ashamed for not being a good student and taking advantage of a priceless opportunity. Why could so many before me make the breakthrough and yet I, having attended so many courses and acheiving so many things, still not let go.

I returned to Holland to work in 2010, this time for about eight months (I'd still manage to get home once a month to visit my family, or they visit me), during which time I returned to smoking a lot on a regular basis and having occasional periods of regular practice. At the same time I started to develop a back problem which I attributed to sciatica, something I had experienced a little on and off in Barcelona, but not to any major extent. The problem seemed to get much worse however, some days extremely painful, other days not so bad. I returned home for christmas and New year, and then went back to Holland for a couple of weeks in January.
Upon returning to Spain in January, things started to get worse. During the holiday period, I'd started to experience mood swings, which would affect my relationship with Laura. I was becoming short tempered and argumentative, things which I'd never been before. I started to question my life. Although I truly loved Laura, absolutely adored our son, and enjoyed living in the countryside, I didn't know what was happening to me, and started to doubt a lot of things. This grew gradually worse on returning from Holland in January, and I really started turning into a person I'd never been before, blaming Laura unreasonably for some of the arguments we would have, and thinking other things were also her fault (deep down I kind of realised most of the blame probably lay on my side).

I'd never really thought it necessary to consult anyone about my obvious problem with weed, because I figured that the answer was so glaringly obvious,I didn't need to be told. All I had to do was to stop smoking, start practicing-simple, but not easy. When the back problem finally became unbearable, I decided to go to see a doctor to find out what was wrong.

Indeed, sciatica was the diagnosis, anti-inflammotories, painkillers and lots of bed rest the solution. Not convinced that twelve hours a day in bed was a realistic solution, I started taking the pills, resting a little and seeing an accupuncturist. I also started to practice again daily, although I didn't stop smoking completely. After a couple of weeks of taking the pills, my back was no better, and so we returned to the hospital where I underwent an x-ray. The doctor now seemed more concerned about me not showing any improvement, and as the x-ray couldn't show what he suspected to be a herniated disc, he recommended an MRI scan. The scan was arranged for the next week, but I would be in England for my work when the results came a week after that.

**Dave** · 30 May 2011, 12:30 PM

Worried that I might not be able to work because of my back, I considered other options. I had been reading about some of the Wahnam instructors' success stories with Chikung healing, in particular Sifu Andrew's amazing results in Switzerland. After checking out and pricing some flights, it seemed that maybe Switzerland might be a bit economically prohibitive, and as I had to go England anyway, I decided to get in touch with Sifu Mark Appleford, whom I had met before at a UK Summercamp a few years before, and a couple of times since. Unfortunately, Sifu Mark was out of the country at the time, and so I decided to get in touch with Sifu Barry, whom I had also met at a Summercamp, albeit briefly a few years before (God bless those Summercamps!). I called him and we arranged to meet a few days before I had to start my training course for my work. What was to happen with Sifu Barry was way beyond my expectations.

He asked me to email with some details of my condition. History, development, current situation, etc, and so I put as much detail as I could into the email I sent him, finally coming clean about my years of smoking weed, which I felt I couldn't leave out if I was going to be honest about the whole healing process. I knew Barry had also trained as a professional physchotherapist and had worked with many addicts over the years. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

We met in London, and Sifu Barry had very kindly invited me to stay at his family home for the night, and so we went there. On the train we began discussing my various problems, and it soon became obvious that my back problem paled in comparison to the years of weed smoking, which had caused a massive amount of shame and guilt in me for a long, long time. Although I had had good results from my training, there was always the feeling of being a bad student. Although I practiced dilligently and made good progress, I would always slip back into my bad habits.

We arrived at Barry's house and talked some more, eventually arriving at what were the root causes, results and consequences of my on and off addiction. It was a truly liberating experience. Later, we went for my first healing session, to tackle my back problem, although by now I was already so elated at being given a chance to really break the cycle of my addiction, that the back problem seemed almost insignificant. He opened some points for me and led me into chi flow, after which we concluded the session, drank some tea and talked some more. Again, I was so elated at the feeling of finally believing I could break the cycle of addiction, I wasn't even worried about my back anymore!

I stayed the night and we did another session the next day, and then later I went back to London. I didn't really notice an immediate major improvement in the pain in my back but certainly some subtle differences. This was after all a major problem, but after the treatment it seemed like something much less, something that would simply disappear as a matter of course, and quite soon. I had not only been given the confidence that I could continue to heal the problem myself, with my practice, but that the problem itself was no longer so daunting. The best part for me was that now I was in control. Not only could I now go on to heal myself confidently, but more importantly, I could take back control of my life. All aspects of it.

Later that day I returned to London a changed man, and then the next day travelled back to the North East to start my training. A few days later, after continuing to practice, albeit still taking pills, Laura called me with the results of the MRI scan. It was worse than we had thought. The scan said that I had a double disc hernia, one large and very advanced, and another smaller one and not so bad, but surgery was considered necessary.
Because of my breakthrough with Barry, this didn't really phase me at first, as I had recently started to experience some improvement. Then some slight doubts started to creep in.
As Barry had said, and which I had also previously believed, the mind is key in the healing process. I quickly put my doubts aside, reasoning that if I had started to notice an improvement already, then I should continue as I was doing, after all, within less than a week, things were already getting better. Imagine after a month!

**Dave** · 30 May 2011, 12:31 PM

It is now almost two weeks since I visited Barry for my first session and I have made such progress already, I feel as if nothing can stop me now! I was originally taking four to five anti-inflammatories daily, and the same amount of painkillers. Two days ago I stopped taking them completely and my back keeps on improving.

Next week I finish my training and have arranged to visit Sifu Andrew in Switzerland on my way home, just to finish the job off as I would like to get home without worrying if I can pick up my son or do other things. Interestingly, after I spoke to him on Skype on Sunday, I sent him a message a couple of days later, just to give an update on my progress. He congratulated me and then admitted to 'playing' with my back a bit during our converastion! This all serves to inspire me even more to become the good student I always knew I could be, if only I could break the cycle of bad habits I'd had since sixteen.

I have to be honest here and admit that I don't think that there's necessarily anything wrong with people smoking weed, per se, much as many people enjoy drinking alcohol. But some people just can't do it in moderation, and I seem to be one of those people. For years I tried to moderate, and always with the same result. Much as some people can't drink alcohol in moderation, and have to get really drunk everytime or every day.

Of course I realise that alcohol and weed aren't the same. One can have a beer or two without getting drunk and still even train later on the same day. There are also stories of great masters who would get drunk regularly and still train, but with weed you can't. Even if you just smoke a little bit, it affects the mind much more profoundly, and has longer lasting residual effects. Believe me, I have a LOT of experience in this, and it's not something that I'm proud of. But if one is capable of moderating, it also has to be remembered that one's progress will be hindered somewhat if they choose to practice such energy arts. Each person knows themself better than anybody else, and should make their own decisions. For me it only took sixteen years, but I finally broke the cycle

.

**Andy** · 30 May 2011, 02:38 PM

Dear Dave Sipak,

Thank you for your honesty and for sharing your story.

It is definitely beneficial for others to reflect on.

WSS,

Andy

**Darryl** · 30 May 2011, 02:51 PM

Dear brother,

A beautiful, honest and sincere account - congratulations on breaking the cycle

**Martin Do** · 30 May 2011, 08:14 PM

Dear Dave Siheng,

It's lovely to hear things are looking good for you at the moment. May this continue

.

Wishing you and your family much health, happiness and prosperity

.

Martin

**Jeffrey Segal** · 30 May 2011, 10:01 PM

Dear brother Dave,

Thank you! I admire your courage in sharing your story and your determination to uncover your true self.

Wishing you all the very best in your training and life.

From the Heart,

**Dave** · 30 May 2011, 11:06 PM

Hi all,

Thanks for the support guys, and the PMs that a few people sent. It really can't be understated how much it helps to have the support of such a large and forgiving family

.

Speaking of family, since I visited Sifu Barry and turned my life around, speaking to my mother on the phone, she keeps commenting on how much happier I sound, and to be honest, every day really feels like the old cliche 'today is the first day of the rest of your life'. I don't want to seem melodramatic, because things were never SO bad, and life is truly a joy being a new parent, but I just always felt I wasn't doing justice to the opportunities I'd been given, and now I feel I can be the person I always was deep down, unfettered by a dependence on weed.

Happy being me, being free,
Dave.

**Robin** · 31 May 2011, 03:58 AM

Good on you Dave,

I wish you all the best on this new road.

Yes, it is great to realize that you have a huge family here that is always here to help and support you.

All the best

Robin

**Andrew** · 31 May 2011, 06:42 AM

Leaving the apparent safety and protection of a cave to see the blue sky, the flowers, hear the birds singing, is a courageous step to take. Once taken, though, it can change your life forever. Congratulations, Dave, for leaving your cave.

**Nick Jones** · 31 May 2011, 09:55 AM

Dear Brother,

Congratulations and thank you for sharing. It's good to be free and being free you can go far higher then you could ever go as a prisoner.

Lots of love
Nick

**Joan** · 31 May 2011, 10:30 AM

Dear Dave,

Thank you for sharing your well written story here with us, it is interesting that we were speaking about recreational drugs here at the weekend.

You are in very safe and capable hands with Sifus Andrew and Barry and I wish you many many blessings on your journey.

Smile from the Heart

Joan

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