Hello Paul and others,
As for being "fight magnets" I've had a number of very large friends over the years who have often complained that many crazy drunks want to fight a big guy in a bar. I've seen it happen a few times, and luckily my big friends have been able to diffuse the wannabe fighters. One big friend said to me a while back, "Boy, it sure would be nice to be average size...no one would want to pick a fight with me."
I don't have any great expertise here. What I can say is that staying very calm kept me from getting in a fight in Thailand a month back. Three drunk hairy transvestites approached me at about 7:00 in the morning on the street. By staying calm, and even letting one of them into my personal space, I kept my cool and was able to firmly assert myself until they left. In retrospect, I questioned whether or not letting a drunk transvestite put his hand on my shoulder was safe. I went with my gut, and it ended well. Without my Wahnam training helping me to stay calm for those few minutes, I would have almost certainly punched the one guy and ran away or had to confront the other two guys.
So, just because someone wants to fight doesn't always mean that you have to fight them. Of course there is self-defense, but a cool head can often avoid the need for self-defense. A potential fight can really be boiled down to two people with two perceptions. When we can see our own perception of the matter with objectivity, then we can sometimes help the other person to shape their perception into a healthier perception.
Here's wishing everyone many years of peace.
Best,
Zach
Originally posted by drunken boxer
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I don't have any great expertise here. What I can say is that staying very calm kept me from getting in a fight in Thailand a month back. Three drunk hairy transvestites approached me at about 7:00 in the morning on the street. By staying calm, and even letting one of them into my personal space, I kept my cool and was able to firmly assert myself until they left. In retrospect, I questioned whether or not letting a drunk transvestite put his hand on my shoulder was safe. I went with my gut, and it ended well. Without my Wahnam training helping me to stay calm for those few minutes, I would have almost certainly punched the one guy and ran away or had to confront the other two guys.
So, just because someone wants to fight doesn't always mean that you have to fight them. Of course there is self-defense, but a cool head can often avoid the need for self-defense. A potential fight can really be boiled down to two people with two perceptions. When we can see our own perception of the matter with objectivity, then we can sometimes help the other person to shape their perception into a healthier perception.
Here's wishing everyone many years of peace.
Best,
Zach
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