Deep cleansing

[8nsteen8]

I am in the middle of a BIG cleansing, it feels like i will explode inside. So much anxiety. My life is totally upside down. And i thought i slept bad before, food is hard to digest and so on.

Smiling from the heart, helps me for the moment, but its hard to get that heart smiling.

This inside me is SOO powerful. It holds tremendous amount of energy.

It feels like many many years of denying myself is comming back right in my face.

Maybe i should slow down my practise so i can live a normal life at the same time. But at the same time i feel i want to continue practising to get this out of the system.

For some odd reason do i feel that i have been waiting for many years to actually feel this, it has slowly been comming up to the surface the last 2 months.

But when i feel this pain it makes me wanna hide myself again, stop taking responsibility for my life.

Any help is very much appreciated.

Sincerely,
Niklas

[barrys]

Niklas,

I think I know where you are coming from - based on personal experiences both before and after starting practicing Chi Kung.

I remember one extreme panic attack about 8 years ago, which was both associated with not looking at some aspect of myself and was only broken as I came to face myself. The process was frightening, painful and a powerful release for me all in one. Life change a lot, for the better after that.

Last year I asked Sifu a question about this at the Intensive Chi Kung course. It was along the lines of "Sifu, I sometimes feel like cleansing is happening too fast and often use my discretion to slow my training down so I can cope. What do you think about that". His answer, as I understood it, was along the lines of "Yes, and sometimes you need to push through". I also remember Sifu saying something along the lines of - when blockages are there you can practice in a way that clears them quickly or slowly, if you choose the latter it takes longer for them to clear .

For me the important thing is to feel safe and supported. Different people look to different sources for this both inside and outside. However you do it I wish you the best.

By the way, this feeling of being overwhelmed by things still sometimes comes for me - normally first thing in the morning. What Sifu said was that practice wouldn't necessarily mean that things won't still come but that they will pass through more quickly. This is my experience. It sometimes appears I am more courageous/more open now, although that's not always how it feels to me when it is happening .

With metta,

Barry

[8nsteen8]

-

Thank you Barry,

Your words made me feel much safer of what i am experiencing.

Sincerely,
Niklas

[Antidote]

Niklas

As you probably know, you are not the only one with deep cleansing experiences.
That's a consequence of high level chi kung.
I had been through a very difficult cleansing process, that it seems to never end, it's very scary sometimes, and it's very difficult to go through the daily life, but we have no other option, once we start it, we must go all the way, slowing down the training could help. I just train once a day. I'm am lucky because Dr. Salvatore , wich is the chief instructor here, is guiding me in this everyday fight. If not for his help, I thing I would give up. However, sometimes and somedays, i could feel very good, and enjoy life, as i never did before, those moments help us to proceed with our training.

Blessings

Tiago

[Charles David]

When it Hurts to Smile

Dear Niklas,

Your words struck a chord with me, as I have been in a similar situation not so long ago. I was in such turmoil, distress and pain. It was very difficult to do my chi kung even. Smling from the heart was painful also, though I did force myself to do so. So I understand what you mean when you say its hard to get that heart smiling. Difficult as it may be, dear brother, you have no choice--even if the pain of it makes you cry out in agony.

Be brave, smile from the heart, things will work out.

[Andrew]

Rest assured that you are far from alone. Deep cleansing is a door --- a door to a new level. This door is sometimes difficult to open and takes time -- sometimes a long time. But the wait and the "work" are certainly worth it. Take it from me .... a deep cleanser par excellence .

I am in another phase of this myself right now. What ??? An instructor still (deep) cleansing???? Yes, folks. Why not? Aren't we all still cleansing somehow? Who from us is so clean that "there is not even a speck of dust"? And after all, we are also just human

[Innes]

cleansing

Hello Niklas,

I was writting a reply to your post but it was quite lengthy so I started a new thread Cleansing and Practise.

I hope it helps.
All the best,

[Andrew R]

Still going?!?!?

I'm glad I found this thread when I did!

For months now I've been experiencing very deep cleansings, the kinds were I can't help but think, "Well where is all of this coming from?" While I knew it was for the best, I couldn't help but wonder how long it was going to last and whether I should let it keep coming through during my practice.

It's nice to know that it's normal for prolonged mad crazy sessions to take place

Gar,
Drew