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Thread: Upleasant feelings

  1. #1
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    Upleasant feelings

    I thought i had got rid of my depression i had in my late teens and early twenties.

    But realise now that i just kept it hidden by applying alot of stress in my body over the years. I never really allowed myself to feel anything really. My life was an endless activity. And if i was physically still, i changed into thinking ALOT just to keep me busy and keep the feelings away.

    It has been like this for over 10 years so basically this way of living is very deep manifested inside me.

    Luckily my Chi Kung training is slowly breaking into theese hidden quarters and stiring things up

    When i am having theese feelings inside me my whole body screams to me to do something, to get rid of them.

    This time i want to do it the "right" way, and stop hiding them inside me.

    I am at work at the moment and it is REALLY hard to focus on my job while having this kind of feelings.

    Any help how to handle this situation is greatly appreciated.

    /Niklas
    Last edited by 8nsteen8; 10th August 2006 at 09:43 AM.

  2. #2
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    Hey Niklas,

    I too suffered from depression for many many years.

    When I feel moments like that coming on (which I see as an important part of my cleansing), I do what I've read SiGung does when faced with hurtful or painful situations, I smile from the heart.

    In more detail, the process I personally follow when faced with those moments is:

    -I focus for a second on opening my heart - for me it is literally like two hand-shaped cage doors that are interlinked and come open.
    -then I smile from my heart
    -I think of letting the pain go and let it float outwards through my open heart/gateway and out of my body.

    For me, this genuinely works.

    Obviously I'm not an instructor, so this is purely my own way based on what I have learned.

    If it helps at all in anyway, please remember that you are not alone, that you have family here and we care about you

    *BIG HUG*

    Claire
    "It's no secret that a friend is someone who lets you help". from the song The Fly by U2

  3. #3
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    -

    Thanks Claire,

    I find it very hard to smile from the heart

    So i need to open the heart first, that sounds logical.

    It feels though like i have locked that door and throwed away the key.

  4. #4
    Andrew's Avatar
    Andrew is offline Sifu Andrew Barnett - Chief Instructor, Shaolin Wahnam Switzerland
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    Quote Originally Posted by 8nsteen8
    It feels though like i have locked that door and throwed away the key.
    You always have the key. You just need to know where to look. Allowing yourself to believe the key is lost is why you cannot find it. Just for a moment, relax, close your eyes and believe -- REALLY believe -- that you have found the key again.

    Now open those gates.

    I like Claire's advice very much.

    Andrew
    Sifu Andrew Barnett
    Shaolin Wahnam Switzerland - www.shaolin-wahnam.ch
    Flowing Health GmbH www.flowing-health.ch (Facebook: www.facebook.com/sifuandrew)
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  5. #5
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    Hi Niklas,

    Good to see you are still practicing your Chi Kung after the Summer course. It was a pleasure to meet you.

    I think Sigung and Claire offer good advice: smile from the heart.

    I can relate to where you are coming from and since taking up chi kung things have been much better for me and I have been able to deal with situations such as this far easier than I have ever done.

    My main method? Smiling from the heart. It works. Takes practice but it works. For me at least.

    One thing you should remember is that you (well even me!) are in the early stages and don't feel discouraged or upset if sometimes you need to slip into your old way or "wrong" way of doing things from time to time. This used to happen to me and still does at times. If things are getting a bit to much for you and you feel as if you are losing control then perhaps keeping busy is good for the time being.

    In my experience trying to fight something when you are weakened can make things worse.

    As you build up your strength you will be in a better position to deal with this and your reliance on the "wrong" way will diminish. Ten years is a long time and it will take you some time to work through this.

    The important thing to remember is that you are on your way to a better way of life and that the "wrong" way of doing things will gradually decrease over time as you become stronger.

    I'm not an instructor either and if offer any words of advice that seem incorrect I hope someone does correct me. But this has worked for me and continues to do so.

    Just don't get discouraged. Things will get better.

    Eddie

  6. #6
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    -

    Yeah Eddie, it was great meeting you too.

    I am feeling so grateful for having this kind of support. Makes me feel stronger already.

    After trying to smile from the heart following Claires and Sifu Andrews advice i realised that i have been smiling from the heart alot lately!!!!!!

    As i said above i almost havent felt any feelings for a long time so i am a bit confused whats what.

    Thanks for helping me understand that.

    Maybe theese unpleasant feelings wouldnt come through unless i had the key to let them go.

    Thanks

    Niklas

  7. #7
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    Thankyou Andrew Sipak

    I also think that Andrew Sipak's advice is right about the key being harder to find if you believe it's gone. I think so much is about intention Niklas. Words like 'no' or 'I don't' have far more negative/retrogressive power than many people realise.


    I also was wondering, if you face the same thing I did... I feared what would happen when I opened my heart.

    In the past I had been to such dark places, and for such long periods of time, that when I found I was faced with the genuine prospect of a way that allowed me to let it all go, I was genuinely afraid of what was going to happen to me.

    I was afraid of the cleansing process that lay ahead, afraid of those horrible dark things resurfacing, afraid that I would have to even just look at them again and feel them again, however fleeting. I in turn feared the possibility that they might consume me again the way they once had.

    I was also worried that I would make a fool of myself.

    Fear is indeed the parent of all cruelty and a great inhibitor.


    For me, summer camp illuminated the key.

    Surrounded by wonderful people, just like you, so open hearted, basking in such amazing energy, such acceptance and genuine love, I realised I was safe to be who I was, whatever that was. Also, that the destination was worth the journey.


    I remember, not too long after we got back, I was talking to George and I was feeling particlarly lonely, I missed everybody so much. And he said to me that we were all linked, and that a stronger link had been made with those people in my WahNam family who I had met and bonded with at summer camp and that all I had to do was think of them and they'd be there.

    Sometimes, if I'm feeling I need a reminder for whatever reason, I let myself remember just how I felt at summer camp, I remember being there. When I do I can't help but feel warmed and smile from inside to out.

    I remember you posted after the summer camp about how you felt

    Maybe, if you're finding it hard to smile from the heart, try remembering being with us there.

    Just a thought

    Claire
    "It's no secret that a friend is someone who lets you help". from the song The Fly by U2

  8. #8
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    Andrew is offline Sifu Andrew Barnett - Chief Instructor, Shaolin Wahnam Switzerland
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    Niklas,

    Quote Originally Posted by 8nsteen8
    i realised that i have been smiling from the heart alot lately!!!!!!
    It sounds to me like you are making excellent progress.

    Claire and eddiel have offered some excellent advice from their own experience. And your experiences will help others who follow in your path.

    Quote Originally Posted by 8nsteen8
    As i said above i almost havent felt any feelings for a long time so i am a bit confused whats what.
    Sometimes a blockage has to be brought to the surface to be cleared --- particularly those we surpress (or attempt to).

    I can personally relate to much in Claire's last post. Thanks, Claire, for reminding me too.

    Andrew
    Sifu Andrew Barnett
    Shaolin Wahnam Switzerland - www.shaolin-wahnam.ch
    Flowing Health GmbH www.flowing-health.ch (Facebook: www.facebook.com/sifuandrew)
    Healing Sessions with Sifu Andrew Barnett - in Switzerland and internationally
    Heilbehandlungen mit Sifu Andrew Barnett - in der Schweiz und International

    Chi Kung Courses : 3t0h September 2017 in Landquart CH
    QEA Discussion Forum: www.qea.ch/forum



  9. #9
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    Dear Niklas,

    I agree that Claire has given some really nice advice and worth re reading.

    Definately smiling from the heart and letting go are the two best things to do.

    If you find it hard to do this here some advice which has worked for me.

    1. Gently follow the instructions given by Sigung (even replay his voice saying smile from the heart, or gently say it to yourself) and then just do it. If there is any resistance or doubt let this go and pay it no attention and have faith that your skill will develop through regular practice over time.

    2. Enter a state of joy by recalling a time which brings you genuine joy (like Claire suggested remembering the summer camp etc). Feel the joy this brings and let go into this, then gently smile from the heart and enjoy the wonderful experience.

    There are many tales of people who found it hard to smile from the heart and with genuine practice got better and better. Im sure you will be the same.

  10. #10
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    Hubert is offline Sifu Hubert Razack - Instructor, Shaolin Wahnam Canada
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    Hi Niklas,

    Remember also that you can slow down your training if the cleansing is too intense. You can practice every other day, or even skip a few days.

    You have unlocked a fantastic potential of energy, and the changes can initially cause some discomfort. Lots of us have been there!

    Since you are dedicated, you will have no problem resuming your training, and it will give you time to adjust.

    Hubert.

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