How Can a Shaolin Practitioner Maintain His/Her Family Happy

[Maxime]

Everything is in the title.

While spending litterally dozen of hours discussing with Sifu while organizing the Qigong Courses in France lately, I came out with the following question to Sifu:

"Sifu, as Shaolin practitioners, what can we do to ensure that our family life remains happy? I am refering to our immediate family: spouse, brothers and sisters, parents, children..."

Before sharing with all of you Sifu´s very pragmatic answer, let´s first have some fun together. Please share your ideas about what YOU can do to maintain happiness and harmony within your immediate family.

[Dorit]

Dear Sihing Maxime,

we are not able to ensure happiness of our family members, as they are own free personalities with their own past (and past lives) and karma.
But, what we can do, is: to be happy ourselves - and to love our family members, being kind to them, and always trying to see them as they are (not as we want to see them). What we are reflecting is corresponding with others, not only with our family!

With Shaolin greetings,
Dorit

[Tim Hoorens]

Dear sister, I have to respectfully disagree, I believe we are able to ensure happiness for family members.

Dear Siheng,

For family life regarding our parents, I believe we have some duties that will ensure happiness for them.
To do well in life, a good job, a nice girlfriend/ wife, having children, and being content with our own lives ensures happiness for our parents.

Best regards,
Tim

[Davy]

Invite them all to a Chikung course with Sigung and encourage them to practice regularly as we also do it.


Hugs

[Maxime]

Thanks everyone for your nice answers. Grandmaster Wong is following this forum closely and I am sure he will enjoy your participation.

Before giving Sifu´s answer in a few days, I would like to encourage others to give a try and share their input on this very important question. I would also like to add a couple of comments.

Dorit, karma is the law of cause and effect; as we are all connected to each other and part of a great whole, each one of our thought, word and action WILL HAVE an impact on others. As such, we can definitely act positively on our family members. As we act positively (cause) and because we are all linked (cosmic truth) then we can help them to change in a positive way (effect).

This, by the way, is a very important teaching of Grandmaster Wong: as shaolin practitioners, we don´t merely sit on a bench in a park and watch the beautiful scenery (though we can occasionnally do it); we are acting positively to make our life and the life of our family and friends more rewarding, fruitful and enjoyable.

Davy hit the nail with his concrete answer. Anyone else could share a real life example, not a philosophical one, of what we could do to maintain our family happy?

[Dorit]

Dorit, karma is the law of cause and effect; as we are all connected to each other and part of a great whole, each one of our thought, word and action WILL HAVE an impact on others. As such, we can definitely act positively on our family members. As we act positively (cause) and because we are all linked (cosmic truth) then we can help them to change in a positive way (effect).
This, by the way, is a very important teaching of Grandmaster Wong: as shaolin practitioners, we don´t merely sit on a bench in a park and watch the beautiful scenery (though we can occasionnally do it); we are acting positively to make our life and the life of our family and friends more rewarding, fruitful and enjoyable.

This is exactly what I meant, Sihing Maxime. - If we are happy and loving we are spreading our happiness and love to others - to our family, friends, and even strangers we meet in the bus or in a shop. .
Many years ago I went with the metro to reach my job. It was a rainy cold day, people in the wagon looked thoughtful and often gloomy. At a station, the doors just opened, the driver suddenly said: "Good bye, dear passengers. Have a nice day! Since it is a rainy day, please don't forget to take your umbrellas with you." - Gloomy faces began to smile, people's eyes met each other - and all passengers, those staying in the train, and those leaving, were in a better mood than before. A few words only! a smile, a nod - it is so easy to spread happiness, if happiness is in ourselves.

Kind Shaolin regards!
Dorit

[Matthew]

Thank you sisook for this thread.

What I can do for my family, and I am seeking to do daily, is to love them (through my thoughts, words and actions), to be the change I want to see in the world and lead by example, to be present and give them my attention, to take care of them to the best of my ability and be the best father/son/husband/human being that I can be.

I do this in the context of the Shaolin laws and the accepted norms of society and in particular the golden rule of treating others as I'd like to be treated.

[Fabienne]

Dear Family,

I can only speak from my own experience and share my humble opinion. So here we go!

While I do agree with Dorit on the fact that people are very different, we can and do actually have an immense influence on the happiness of our closest family members. Davy's answer is obvious and simple (and GOOD) to us all, yet not always easy to actually implement. At least not with all of our families. This is where, to me, Dorit's initial argument is right on. My family are lovely people and I could not imagine life without them. But do they want to practice qigong? No. Only now, after more than 4 years and coming back from Ireland, buzzing with happiness and life, has my mother expressed a slight interest in attending a qigong course with Sigung. I gently encouraged her, but it's her own free will and readiness that will ultimately guide her to take such a big step, not "only" me. Also, my parents have found ways to be happy and fulfilled just by living life and making experiences, without Qigong. So who am I to tell them that they are less happy or less fulfilled just because I think Qigong is best? I would never presume such a thing, not anymore.


So what did/do "I" do to increase my family's happiness?

By thought:
Whenever Sifu or Sigung ask us to send out blessings (or the few times when I do it at home), they always go to my family. There are a few rare exceptions, but family members are always in my thoughts when sending out blessings. I do not wish for something specific, I just send them love and support that comes straight from the heart. In my mind, the blessings look like golden ropes that enter their bodies and makes them stand straighter, stronger. When somebody is going through a rough time, I also sing to Guan Yin and pray for her kindness and protection. Thankfully and blessedly, we have not had any trouble for a few months now.

By speech:
I regularly tell my parents how much I love and appreciate them and how grateful I am to have them in my life. Many talks also happen with my sister, who is struggling with confidence and anxiety and highly appreciates a pep talk now and again. And I tell my brother how proud I am, that I believe in him no matter what and that I will support him for as long as he wants me to. For months, I always told all of them how lucky and blessed we are when things got rough. Then, when things got rough for me, it echoed right back .

By action:
I invite my parents for dinner and spend almost every Sunday with them. I often text my sister to ask her how things are going for her and offer support when she is at her limit. I call my brother at least twice a month and just let him ramble on for over an hour and help him financially whenever needed. My support is rarely needed, but my siblings knowing that the support is there has made a big difference.

Harmony:
I never consciously tried to create harmony between my family members, so I can't explain how it happened. But over the last few months, we have all definitely grown closer, despite our daily life and situation not changing overly much. I sincerely think it's because of Taijiquan and some sneaky Cloud Hands subtly weaving things together, haha !!

I'm really looking forward to more inputs and Sigung's answer! Thank you, Maxime Sisook, for opening such a wonderful thread!

Shaolin greeting
Fabienne

[Matt F.]

Foot rubs. Lots of foot rubs! Oh, and chocolate.

[barrys]

Pragmatically an answer would be "do what makes them happy".