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How Can a Shaolin Practitioner Maintain His/Her Family Happy

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  • How Can a Shaolin Practitioner Maintain His/Her Family Happy

    Everything is in the title.

    While spending litterally dozen of hours discussing with Sifu while organizing the Qigong Courses in France lately, I came out with the following question to Sifu:

    "Sifu, as Shaolin practitioners, what can we do to ensure that our family life remains happy? I am refering to our immediate family: spouse, brothers and sisters, parents, children..."

    Before sharing with all of you Sifu´s very pragmatic answer, let´s first have some fun together. Please share your ideas about what YOU can do to maintain happiness and harmony within your immediate family.

    Maxime Citerne, Chinese Medicine, Qigong Healing & Internal Arts

    Frankfurt - Paris - Alsace


    France: www.institut-anicca.com

    Germany: www.anicca-institute.com

  • #2
    Dear Sihing Maxime,

    we are not able to ensure happiness of our family members, as they are own free personalities with their own past (and past lives) and karma.
    But, what we can do, is: to be happy ourselves - and to love our family members, being kind to them, and always trying to see them as they are (not as we want to see them). What we are reflecting is corresponding with others, not only with our family!

    With Shaolin greetings,
    Dorit
    ... alles, alles, alles ist doch auf Liebe aufgebaut ..." (Ellen Auerbach, 1997)

    Comment


    • #3
      Dear sister, I have to respectfully disagree, I believe we are able to ensure happiness for family members.

      Dear Siheng,

      For family life regarding our parents, I believe we have some duties that will ensure happiness for them.
      To do well in life, a good job, a nice girlfriend/ wife, having children, and being content with our own lives ensures happiness for our parents.

      Best regards,
      Tim

      Comment


      • #4
        Chikung

        Invite them all to a Chikung course with Sigung and encourage them to practice regularly as we also do it.


        Hugs

        Comment


        • #5
          Thanks everyone for your nice answers. Grandmaster Wong is following this forum closely and I am sure he will enjoy your participation.

          Before giving Sifu´s answer in a few days, I would like to encourage others to give a try and share their input on this very important question. I would also like to add a couple of comments.

          Dorit, karma is the law of cause and effect; as we are all connected to each other and part of a great whole, each one of our thought, word and action WILL HAVE an impact on others. As such, we can definitely act positively on our family members. As we act positively (cause) and because we are all linked (cosmic truth) then we can help them to change in a positive way (effect).

          This, by the way, is a very important teaching of Grandmaster Wong: as shaolin practitioners, we don´t merely sit on a bench in a park and watch the beautiful scenery (though we can occasionnally do it); we are acting positively to make our life and the life of our family and friends more rewarding, fruitful and enjoyable.

          Davy hit the nail with his concrete answer. Anyone else could share a real life example, not a philosophical one, of what we could do to maintain our family happy?
          Last edited by Maxime; 26th May 2014, 04:14 PM.

          Maxime Citerne, Chinese Medicine, Qigong Healing & Internal Arts

          Frankfurt - Paris - Alsace


          France: www.institut-anicca.com

          Germany: www.anicca-institute.com

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Maxime View Post
            Dorit, karma is the law of cause and effect; as we are all connected to each other and part of a great whole, each one of our thought, word and action WILL HAVE an impact on others. As such, we can definitely act positively on our family members. As we act positively (cause) and because we are all linked (cosmic truth) then we can help them to change in a positive way (effect).
            This, by the way, is a very important teaching of Grandmaster Wong: as shaolin practitioners, we don´t merely sit on a bench in a park and watch the beautiful scenery (though we can occasionnally do it); we are acting positively to make our life and the life of our family and friends more rewarding, fruitful and enjoyable.
            This is exactly what I meant, Sihing Maxime. - If we are happy and loving we are spreading our happiness and love to others - to our family, friends, and even strangers we meet in the bus or in a shop. .
            Many years ago I went with the metro to reach my job. It was a rainy cold day, people in the wagon looked thoughtful and often gloomy. At a station, the doors just opened, the driver suddenly said: "Good bye, dear passengers. Have a nice day! Since it is a rainy day, please don't forget to take your umbrellas with you." - Gloomy faces began to smile, people's eyes met each other - and all passengers, those staying in the train, and those leaving, were in a better mood than before. A few words only! a smile, a nod - it is so easy to spread happiness, if happiness is in ourselves.

            Kind Shaolin regards!
            Dorit
            ... alles, alles, alles ist doch auf Liebe aufgebaut ..." (Ellen Auerbach, 1997)

            Comment


            • #7
              Thank you sisook for this thread.

              What I can do for my family, and I am seeking to do daily, is to love them (through my thoughts, words and actions), to be the change I want to see in the world and lead by example, to be present and give them my attention, to take care of them to the best of my ability and be the best father/son/husband/human being that I can be.

              I do this in the context of the Shaolin laws and the accepted norms of society and in particular the golden rule of treating others as I'd like to be treated.
              With love and Shaolin salute /o

              "Your purpose in life is to find your purpose & give your whole heart and soul to it." - Buddha

              Gate gate pāragate pārasaṃgate bodhi svāhā.

              Comment


              • #8
                Dear Family,

                I can only speak from my own experience and share my humble opinion. So here we go!

                While I do agree with Dorit on the fact that people are very different, we can and do actually have an immense influence on the happiness of our closest family members. Davy's answer is obvious and simple (and GOOD) to us all, yet not always easy to actually implement. At least not with all of our families. This is where, to me, Dorit's initial argument is right on. My family are lovely people and I could not imagine life without them. But do they want to practice qigong? No. Only now, after more than 4 years and coming back from Ireland, buzzing with happiness and life, has my mother expressed a slight interest in attending a qigong course with Sigung. I gently encouraged her, but it's her own free will and readiness that will ultimately guide her to take such a big step, not "only" me. Also, my parents have found ways to be happy and fulfilled just by living life and making experiences, without Qigong. So who am I to tell them that they are less happy or less fulfilled just because I think Qigong is best? I would never presume such a thing, not anymore.


                So what did/do "I" do to increase my family's happiness?

                By thought:

                Whenever Sifu or Sigung ask us to send out blessings (or the few times when I do it at home), they always go to my family. There are a few rare exceptions, but family members are always in my thoughts when sending out blessings. I do not wish for something specific, I just send them love and support that comes straight from the heart. In my mind, the blessings look like golden ropes that enter their bodies and makes them stand straighter, stronger. When somebody is going through a rough time, I also sing to Guan Yin and pray for her kindness and protection. Thankfully and blessedly, we have not had any trouble for a few months now.

                By speech:
                I regularly tell my parents how much I love and appreciate them and how grateful I am to have them in my life. Many talks also happen with my sister, who is struggling with confidence and anxiety and highly appreciates a pep talk now and again. And I tell my brother how proud I am, that I believe in him no matter what and that I will support him for as long as he wants me to. For months, I always told all of them how lucky and blessed we are when things got rough. Then, when things got rough for me, it echoed right back .

                By action:
                I invite my parents for dinner and spend almost every Sunday with them. I often text my sister to ask her how things are going for her and offer support when she is at her limit. I call my brother at least twice a month and just let him ramble on for over an hour and help him financially whenever needed. My support is rarely needed, but my siblings knowing that the support is there has made a big difference.

                Harmony:

                I never consciously tried to create harmony between my family members, so I can't explain how it happened. But over the last few months, we have all definitely grown closer, despite our daily life and situation not changing overly much. I sincerely think it's because of Taijiquan and some sneaky Cloud Hands subtly weaving things together, haha !!

                I'm really looking forward to more inputs and Sigung's answer! Thank you, Maxime Sisook, for opening such a wonderful thread!

                Shaolin greeting
                Fabienne


                Comment


                • #9
                  Foot rubs. Lots of foot rubs! Oh, and chocolate.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Pragmatically an answer would be "do what makes them happy".
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                    • #11
                      Dear Maxime,

                      Thank you for starting the thread!

                      Generally speaking our Arts are meant to enhance our lives and the lives of our beloved ones.

                      The Arts have taught me that being born into a family as a human being in a wealthy, safe country like Switzerland is a blessing. Having had the chance to come across the Shaolin teaching under the guidance of my beloved Sifu, an extraordinary example and inspiration how to live life wholesomly, is another blessing. I have learnt that being born into such a wonderful surrounding is a kind of promis or responsibility towards God or whateever is called the supreme, to take the lead to make my family happy.

                      Making a family happy is most important and actually relatively spoken quite easy. You provide them with all they need in first place. Being healthy and happy is the foundation towards providing well. Interestingly I can experience that now first hand with my wife and my new born son. While others many of my friends may work hard and drain, having no energy at home anymore, I work hard, charge up and share the energy after coming home. Listening, being patient and giving them attention is a good start to take care of the family in general. Provoding them with good food, clothes a nice appartment in a nice surrounding and a good school education is another way to take care of the family.

                      I make sure that I meet up with my father, brothers, aunties on a regular base. I consider taking care of them as a blessing. If they have a hard time to decide when they wanna meet up again, I take the lead and simply invite them or visit them, giving them no other choice :-) than meeting.

                      Leading the family eventually to training the Arts is not being done by preaching or being a moral authority. It's done by being a leading example.

                      This way my wife has started Kungfu training and even when she was carrying the baby she would practice some Kungfu to have some activity. This way it affected our son amazingly. She took care for herself which directly affected the baby. My father, one my brothers (the one who was a furious street figther), my sister in law and my aunties (all of them over 70 and still young and happy) have started to practice Chi Kung. Actually what made me proud the most was my brothers sudden change to restart his Chi Kung a few years ago. My brother is 8 years younger but always looked up to me. He told me later cause of my leading example he had no other choice (and a lesson of what is internal force while having a friendly sparring) than to restart. Influencial on his decicion was also Kai Taisiheng. My brother was so inspired that he would not miss a single Chi Kung session since then. So also my brothers and sisters are inspirational and influencial to my family development. They see with what people I have spent most of my free time with. They are not just ordinary people, all of them are unique and inspirational.

                      best regards,

                      Roland
                      "From formless to form, from form to formless"

                      26.08.17-28.08.17: Qi Gong Festival with 6 courses in Bern:
                      Qiflow-Triple Stretch Method-12 Sinewmetamorphisis-Bone Marrow Cleansing-Zen Mind in Qi Gong

                      Website: www.enerqi.ch

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Dear Sisook,

                        greetings from faraway! this is indeed a great topic!

                        I used to believe that everyone can be happy and content with the same things I was happy. But everyone has own measures of happiness and to make him happy, may neither be what we think it´d be nor what he or she thinks it´d be. Let´s say my dad likes fishing. But I feel that true happiness comes from chikung. When I offer him a course in chi kung he may be unhappy, because he prefers fishing. I honestly can´t understand it. But let´s say he is stubborn and that´s the way it goes. But maybe he was mistaken, and suddenly he prefers chikung to fishing and sees how he enjoys it more.

                        Making people happy can be challenging for the mind.
                        However - honest love, appreciation, care are those things that can make ourselves people around us happy. Fulfilling our roles as being ourselves and at the same time being sons, daughters, fathers, mothers, grandfathers and grandmothers, as businesswomen and men, artists and housemates - all which have a lot of facettes of roles, and being caring and loving. This keeps us happy and healthy I believe!

                        And of course our Arts

                        To read the many responses, especially Roland Sisooks when the whole family is practicing Chi Kung is very inspiring and makes me happy!

                        Does starting a thread on happiness generate happiness?
                        Yes!

                        Look forward to see Sigungs response!
                        Anton
                        Engage and maintain joyful practice!

                        May all of you get the best benefits from what you do.

                        Anton Schmick
                        Shaolin Wahnam Germany Nord

                        shaolinwahnamchina.com
                        http://chikunghamburg.wordpress.com
                        http://shaolinwahnam-nord.de
                        http://kungfu-luebeck.de

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                        • #13
                          In addition to my initial lighthearted, though 100% genuine, response, I have a few more experiences to share.

                          Through our Shaolin practices, we develop an open heart. Share your open heart with others. Spread your enthusiasm and encourage the enthusiasm you see in others. It could be about any topic - mountain biking, for example. Or pie! Let your passion spread and influence others.

                          We have all learned to smile from the heart, and it's awesome! I also very much enjoy hugging from the heart. Wrap someone you care about in a giant, warm embrace. And use that embrace to surround you both in glowing happiness.

                          Don't let the people you care about speak badly about themselves. It's amazing how negative people can speak, act, and feel towards themselves. For every one negative thing my fiancé says about herself, I try to mention at least two or three things that are wonderful. I then remind her to stop being mean to my fiancé, because that's not cool!

                          Share beautiful things - if you see a wonderful sunset, point it out. If the Spring breeze is warm and sweet smelling, encourage those around you to pause and enjoy the moment.

                          There are many more ways to spread happiness, especially with your family, but these were some of the methods I used this past weekend.

                          -Matt

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                          • #14
                            Dear Roland Siheng,

                            Thanks to you for leading by example like a Shaolin Master does.
                            少林華南台灣 Shaolin Wahnam Taiwan

                            Facebook

                            "Then how could chi kung overcome diseases where the cause is unknown or when there is no cure? The question is actually incorrect. The expressions "the cause is unknown" and "there is no cure" are applicable only in the Western medical paradigm. The expressions no longer hold true in the chi kung paradigm. In the chi kung paradigm the cause is known, and there is a cure."

                            -Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit

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                            • #15
                              What a fascinating thread.

                              In just a few days, I will be on my way with my family to Paris and then London for a family vacation before going for the Summer Camp.

                              The rest have already listed the "what" and "how" which I agree with. My own mini-contribution is that as a father, I need to spend time with the family. These days, "quality time" has become an empty catch-phrase, as if one must maximise the limited time one is willing to fork out for teh family. Time spent with the family must be both qualitative and quantitative, in other words, you have to spend some minimum amount of time with them.

                              One of the things I have also learnt as a parent is that to make your children happy, it is wrong to simply give them what they want. Happiness does not come from gratification of desires, but growing in wisdom and awareness.

                              The single most important thing I feel that I have done is to bring laughter to the home. My wife always complains that the moment i reach home, the noise level rises dramatically, because the kids take my arrival as a licence to laugh and run around. And the reason for that, I am convinced, is my practice of these Arts. If I do not feel happiness and gratitude in my heart, I could not have passed them to others at home.
                              百德以孝为先
                              Persevere in correct practice

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