Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Upleasant feelings

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Upleasant feelings

    I thought i had got rid of my depression i had in my late teens and early twenties.

    But realise now that i just kept it hidden by applying alot of stress in my body over the years. I never really allowed myself to feel anything really. My life was an endless activity. And if i was physically still, i changed into thinking ALOT just to keep me busy and keep the feelings away.

    It has been like this for over 10 years so basically this way of living is very deep manifested inside me.

    Luckily my Chi Kung training is slowly breaking into theese hidden quarters and stiring things up

    When i am having theese feelings inside me my whole body screams to me to do something, to get rid of them.

    This time i want to do it the "right" way, and stop hiding them inside me.

    I am at work at the moment and it is REALLY hard to focus on my job while having this kind of feelings.

    Any help how to handle this situation is greatly appreciated.

    /Niklas
    Last edited by 8nsteen8; 10th August 2006, 09:43 AM.

    "If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven played music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well."/Martin Luther King, Jr.

  • #2
    Hey Niklas,

    I too suffered from depression for many many years.

    When I feel moments like that coming on (which I see as an important part of my cleansing), I do what I've read SiGung does when faced with hurtful or painful situations, I smile from the heart.

    In more detail, the process I personally follow when faced with those moments is:

    -I focus for a second on opening my heart - for me it is literally like two hand-shaped cage doors that are interlinked and come open.
    -then I smile from my heart
    -I think of letting the pain go and let it float outwards through my open heart/gateway and out of my body.

    For me, this genuinely works.

    Obviously I'm not an instructor, so this is purely my own way based on what I have learned.

    If it helps at all in anyway, please remember that you are not alone, that you have family here and we care about you

    *BIG HUG*

    Claire
    "It's no secret that a friend is someone who lets you help". from the song The Fly by U2

    Comment


    • #3
      -

      Thanks Claire,

      I find it very hard to smile from the heart

      So i need to open the heart first, that sounds logical.

      It feels though like i have locked that door and throwed away the key.

      "If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven played music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well."/Martin Luther King, Jr.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by 8nsteen8
        It feels though like i have locked that door and throwed away the key.
        You always have the key. You just need to know where to look. Allowing yourself to believe the key is lost is why you cannot find it. Just for a moment, relax, close your eyes and believe -- REALLY believe -- that you have found the key again.

        Now open those gates.

        I like Claire's advice very much.

        Andrew
        Sifu Andrew Barnett
        Shaolin Wahnam Switzerland - www.shaolin-wahnam.ch

        Flowing Health GmbH www.flowing-health.ch (Facebook: www.facebook.com/sifuandrew)
        Healing Sessions with Sifu Andrew Barnett - in Switzerland and internationally
        Heilbehandlungen mit Sifu Andrew Barnett - in der Schweiz und International

        Chi Kung Courses: October and November 2018 in Landquart CH
        QEA Discussion Forum: www.qea.ch/forum

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi Niklas,

          Good to see you are still practicing your Chi Kung after the Summer course. It was a pleasure to meet you.

          I think Sigung and Claire offer good advice: smile from the heart.

          I can relate to where you are coming from and since taking up chi kung things have been much better for me and I have been able to deal with situations such as this far easier than I have ever done.

          My main method? Smiling from the heart. It works. Takes practice but it works. For me at least.

          One thing you should remember is that you (well even me!) are in the early stages and don't feel discouraged or upset if sometimes you need to slip into your old way or "wrong" way of doing things from time to time. This used to happen to me and still does at times. If things are getting a bit to much for you and you feel as if you are losing control then perhaps keeping busy is good for the time being.

          In my experience trying to fight something when you are weakened can make things worse.

          As you build up your strength you will be in a better position to deal with this and your reliance on the "wrong" way will diminish. Ten years is a long time and it will take you some time to work through this.

          The important thing to remember is that you are on your way to a better way of life and that the "wrong" way of doing things will gradually decrease over time as you become stronger.

          I'm not an instructor either and if offer any words of advice that seem incorrect I hope someone does correct me. But this has worked for me and continues to do so.

          Just don't get discouraged. Things will get better.

          Eddie

          Comment


          • #6
            -

            Yeah Eddie, it was great meeting you too.

            I am feeling so grateful for having this kind of support. Makes me feel stronger already.

            After trying to smile from the heart following Claires and Sifu Andrews advice i realised that i have been smiling from the heart alot lately!!!!!!

            As i said above i almost havent felt any feelings for a long time so i am a bit confused whats what.

            Thanks for helping me understand that.

            Maybe theese unpleasant feelings wouldnt come through unless i had the key to let them go.

            Thanks

            Niklas

            "If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven played music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well."/Martin Luther King, Jr.

            Comment


            • #7
              Thankyou Andrew Sipak

              I also think that Andrew Sipak's advice is right about the key being harder to find if you believe it's gone. I think so much is about intention Niklas. Words like 'no' or 'I don't' have far more negative/retrogressive power than many people realise.


              I also was wondering, if you face the same thing I did... I feared what would happen when I opened my heart.

              In the past I had been to such dark places, and for such long periods of time, that when I found I was faced with the genuine prospect of a way that allowed me to let it all go, I was genuinely afraid of what was going to happen to me.

              I was afraid of the cleansing process that lay ahead, afraid of those horrible dark things resurfacing, afraid that I would have to even just look at them again and feel them again, however fleeting. I in turn feared the possibility that they might consume me again the way they once had.

              I was also worried that I would make a fool of myself.

              Fear is indeed the parent of all cruelty and a great inhibitor.


              For me, summer camp illuminated the key.

              Surrounded by wonderful people, just like you, so open hearted, basking in such amazing energy, such acceptance and genuine love, I realised I was safe to be who I was, whatever that was. Also, that the destination was worth the journey.


              I remember, not too long after we got back, I was talking to George and I was feeling particlarly lonely, I missed everybody so much. And he said to me that we were all linked, and that a stronger link had been made with those people in my WahNam family who I had met and bonded with at summer camp and that all I had to do was think of them and they'd be there.

              Sometimes, if I'm feeling I need a reminder for whatever reason, I let myself remember just how I felt at summer camp, I remember being there. When I do I can't help but feel warmed and smile from inside to out.

              I remember you posted after the summer camp about how you felt

              Maybe, if you're finding it hard to smile from the heart, try remembering being with us there.

              Just a thought

              Claire
              "It's no secret that a friend is someone who lets you help". from the song The Fly by U2

              Comment


              • #8
                Niklas,

                Originally posted by 8nsteen8
                i realised that i have been smiling from the heart alot lately!!!!!!
                It sounds to me like you are making excellent progress.

                Claire and eddiel have offered some excellent advice from their own experience. And your experiences will help others who follow in your path.

                Originally posted by 8nsteen8
                As i said above i almost havent felt any feelings for a long time so i am a bit confused whats what.
                Sometimes a blockage has to be brought to the surface to be cleared --- particularly those we surpress (or attempt to).

                I can personally relate to much in Claire's last post. Thanks, Claire, for reminding me too.

                Andrew
                Sifu Andrew Barnett
                Shaolin Wahnam Switzerland - www.shaolin-wahnam.ch

                Flowing Health GmbH www.flowing-health.ch (Facebook: www.facebook.com/sifuandrew)
                Healing Sessions with Sifu Andrew Barnett - in Switzerland and internationally
                Heilbehandlungen mit Sifu Andrew Barnett - in der Schweiz und International

                Chi Kung Courses: October and November 2018 in Landquart CH
                QEA Discussion Forum: www.qea.ch/forum

                Comment


                • #9
                  Dear Niklas,

                  I agree that Claire has given some really nice advice and worth re reading.

                  Definately smiling from the heart and letting go are the two best things to do.

                  If you find it hard to do this here some advice which has worked for me.

                  1. Gently follow the instructions given by Sigung (even replay his voice saying smile from the heart, or gently say it to yourself) and then just do it. If there is any resistance or doubt let this go and pay it no attention and have faith that your skill will develop through regular practice over time.

                  2. Enter a state of joy by recalling a time which brings you genuine joy (like Claire suggested remembering the summer camp etc). Feel the joy this brings and let go into this, then gently smile from the heart and enjoy the wonderful experience.

                  There are many tales of people who found it hard to smile from the heart and with genuine practice got better and better. Im sure you will be the same.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi Niklas,

                    Remember also that you can slow down your training if the cleansing is too intense. You can practice every other day, or even skip a few days.

                    You have unlocked a fantastic potential of energy, and the changes can initially cause some discomfort. Lots of us have been there!

                    Since you are dedicated, you will have no problem resuming your training, and it will give you time to adjust.

                    Hubert.
                    Hubert Razack
                    www.shaolinwahnam.fr
                    www.sourireducoeur.fr

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      hello Niklas

                      Thanks for sharing your experience, it will help you greatly in getting through this difficult phase. And the advice it has inspired has been wonderful, and has just confirmed to me what a great family we have here.

                      If it's any consolation, nearly all of us in the London class who went to Summer Camp seem to be going through a cleansing phase around this time, and as you've discovered, it can be quite acute. But a gentle awareness that it is cleansing, a positive process, can help you relax through it, in my experience.

                      Sifu always says 'don't worry about how to smile from the heart - just smile from the heart.' He has given you this wonderful skill, Niklas, so I think you also shouldn't worry if you don't feel the immediate benefits when you practice. As an analogy, sometimes we go through phases where our chi flows don't feel that strong, but our health still improves, and I think your current experiences with smiling from the heart may be similar.

                      Ten years of suppressing or masking your depression is indeed a long time, but if at all possible, I'd suggest not focusing on the illness, or the particular feelings you associate with it - think of it as just another blockage caused by yin/yang disharmony, that your chi kung practice will clear.

                      I speak from painful experience here, as I pretty much wasted a year or more of my practice by not following advice Sifu gave me, which can be summarised as: "relax, and enjoy your practice". In retrospect I was too attached to 'my problem' although my heart knew for sure the remedy lay in Sifu's words.

                      So, relax and enjoy your practice, and if you ever need inspiration, there are the wonderful examples of Anthony Siheng and Eugene Siheng (and I'm sure many others) who have cured their depression with our chi kung.

                      All the best to you


                      Fleur

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        -

                        I think as Hubert mention that i might have been doing a little to much practise.

                        I have done 15 minutes every morning, but in evenings have i done alot more since i have been practising 18 shaolin exercises in various combinations and ended with chi flow and standing meditation.

                        I have really enjoyed my practise so i am sure i am doing something right.

                        I know Sifu Wong have given me all i need. I have understood though that i do not have total trust in myself.

                        I decided today to trust my ability and just follow what Sifu Wong taught me, relax and enjoy life. So far this day have been a beautiful day. I feel so much lighter

                        Thanks All

                        Niklas

                        "If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven played music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well."/Martin Luther King, Jr.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Congratulations, Niklas! I think you have achieved an important realization.

                          You are practicing correctly, but at a very high level. At this level, 30 minutes or more a day can be too much to start with (especially after a course). Personally it took me a while to realize this. But as you progress you will learn to regulate the level of your training as best suited. Actually, you have already done it!

                          Carry on gently, and you will get more and more confidence in your practice.
                          Last edited by Hubert; 11th August 2006, 11:54 AM.
                          Hubert Razack
                          www.shaolinwahnam.fr
                          www.sourireducoeur.fr

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Hey Niklas,

                            I remember before you asked if I was insecure and if that was the reason for why I like to joked. Also if I praticed enough chi kung to feel secure. I wanted to bring this up since it has alot to do with this.

                            I laughed whole heartly when you said that. It has been a while since I was insecure. A long long long time ago, thats 3 longs, I was insecure alot. So much that it kept me from doing somethings and kept me from fully enjoying what ever I did. Then one day I was trying to come up with a philosophy on the purpose of life, I found it and I felt so sad. Basically there was none. But thats a whole other story. Then I realized that it wasn't wrong, but that it was missing a part. At the time my depression was pretty bad. I just slept most of the time and didn't do anything else. I didn't even enjoy my food. I kept looking and reading philosophy trying to find the answer and which was in "The Art Of Happiness" by The Dalia Lama.

                            First it fixed my problem with my own philsophy. But then it fixed so many other things that I didn't even realize I was at fault with. Also at the same time I asked for help on this forum and I continue to pratice chi kung in hopes that it will fix my depression. It did but I don't think it was as useful if it wasn't for the book too. So althought Chi Kung is excellent in overcomeing the depression, I think it would be even better if it came with the understanding of why they even began. Read the book, it made me feel much better. Hope that helps

                            Peter
                            Amituofo

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              -

                              Thanks for your intention to help Peter,

                              I have actually read that book, i have read many books and i have tried many things in my search for happiness.

                              I know that the book you mention as well as other books and other methods will be able to give me my happiness back.

                              But thats not the problem, the problem for me is as you mention insecureness, lack of faith and that turns into lack of patience.

                              I have jumped from one thing to another for a long time and it is very wearing and makes progress very hard.

                              I have decided after attending the course with Sifu Wong that i will try to be a good student for 6 months and then look back and see what have happened, and take a new decision then. That means to follow the teachings and dont add or remove anything.

                              It is not a question about if it works or not, i think that is obvious by talking to people and read posts here. For me it is a question about faith.

                              I have noticed that Chi Kung is clearing my mind and i am starting to understand more and more why i ended up being depressed. I think that is hard to understand from reading a book since each person is unique.

                              Best Regards
                              /Niklas

                              "If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven played music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well."/Martin Luther King, Jr.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X